


Ten Ways the Wedding Isn't Going According to Plan (and One Way It's Perfect)

by florahart



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 extended, M/M, Not AOU compliant as far as Clint's backstory, Wedding, no really this is sappy, utter fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 07:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4091545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florahart/pseuds/florahart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Phil and Clint's wedding day, and pretty much everything is going wrong.</p><p>Well, at least all the unimportant things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten Ways the Wedding Isn't Going According to Plan (and One Way It's Perfect)

**Author's Note:**

> I have another gross cold, and I am comforting myself with saptastical fic again. It is good to have tools to solve one's problems, right? 
> 
> It was going to be 5+1, but then there were more than 5, so hey, 10.
> 
> This is not Ultron-compliant as far as Clint's off-work story (and implicitly might be Fraction's Hawkeye-compliantish), but does include the thing that happened to Phil at the end of S2 of MAoS.

1\. It's raining. In Malibu in July. Seriously, what the hell. Okay, so it's Stark's property and there's plenty of tent-and-gazebo-ish space for their small party, but come _on_ , California is in the middle of a major and unremitting drought.

2\. Vision is a technological leap and a marvel, and Friday is pretty great, but they don't collectively _quite_ replace JARVIS's epic level of attention to detail and foresight, developed under the admittedly unique high-pressure circumstance of managing Tony Stark. And, both Phil and Clint's calendars have been pretty full. Which is why the tailoring is more last-minute than hoped, and isn't up to Stark's usual standard, which is why Clint's jacket is too tight, unmanageably tight, in the shoulders. Naturally, there's no replacement available and there isn't enough of the fabric—it's not Kevlar; it's a new polymer Stark's people have been working on for all of them but they're still prototyping—to alter. Upside for Clint: he gets to go with a sleeveless look after all. 

3\. Getting called out the night before for an exciting West Coast dance with the Doombots was basically so un-unexpected they had contingencies for time, guest quarters, a backup location (which it's just as well they don't need because who else would be ready for the rain), and assorted medical needs in case anyone is on crutches or attached to an IV stand. However, they hadn't planned on the explosion that set off a cascade response in Clint's aids and not only destroyed them, but did enough ear canal damage that there's going to have to be a whole new fitting and set-up, as well as the general healing time, before he gets new ears. Damn it.

4\. Also, the associated bruising kind of puts a damper on the beauty of that sleeveless look. Natasha has something that will cover the bruises, but Clint has this idea about it being important that Phil is marrying Clint's authentic self, and so he's feeling a little bull-headed about using makeup. Which... Phil knows who he's marrying and there's no cover Clint could put on himself that would make any difference to Phil, but he also gets having some hangups that aren't that logical...

5\. ...Because the cascade response that knocked out the aids also generated some kind of weird feedback (Fitz is working on it) that shorted out not only Phil's hand but some of the controlware embedded in his stump. They have a backup _hand_ because they aren't stupid, but doing the microsurgery to make it work... nope, not right now. Simmons says it would be a many-hour procedure, with just as much fitting and adjusting as the first time, so no. This means Phil has no left ring finger at the moment for Clint to put the ring on. Well, or he can wear a 'dead' hand, but Clint doesn't want shove a ring on a cold unmoving finger, so they're probably just going to have to put it on his right. It's fine, because they agree that logically, none of the symbols are what matter about this, but Phil feels like he's asking Clint to compromise on even the single moment they would both definitely be wearing their rings.

6\. The florist's shop was one of the casualties of the Doombot swarm. The only place in that particular six-mile radius that was totally trashed. Neither of them cares a _lot_ about flowers, but they did have a nice purple theme that Clint liked, and purple roses are harder to get. Fortunately, Pepper and Darcy realized this was a problem with a good six hours to spare, and they're on it. Phil's pretty sure they conscripted Mac to help them, since every time he's seen him all morning he's been holding a vase or another flower-related object.

7\. It's not that Phil can't sign one-handed, nor that Clint can't lip-read, but A. Phil needs his hand to put the ring on Clint and he is fucking well going to put it on him despite the aforementioned problem of his own hand being missing entirely; and, B. Phil's pretty sure he's going to be emotional enough to distort his lips a little when he speaks. Which means they maybe need to get a sign interpreter if he's going to read the vows he wrote himself. Well, or hand them over for Clint to read with him, but that seems wrong. Maybe he'll have Steve hold them while he reads and signs; it's only the last little bit where he'll need the hand for the ring.

8\. Intel suggests the Doombot swarm was phase one of a greater plan, but they have nothing, at all, on what, when, or where phase two is supposed to be. Which means Phil and Clint have spent half the morning holed up with Nick (who is still maintaining the fiction that he is dead, but who apparently counts this event as one of the cases for which he will make an exception), Natasha, Melinda, Bobbi, Steve, and Maria trying to at least make sure whatever it is is not scheduled for right the fuck now. That Clint, the better-known of the two of them, is busy today and so are all his friends is not, in any way, common knowledge; Stark's been laying one set of weird false trails about everyone's activities for months while SHIELD has been laying another to confuse even the most persistent gossipmongers, but the timing of last night makes everyone uneasy, and the floral situation is not helping.

9\. Someone in the catering retinue replaced the requested raspberries on the cake and in the punch with strawberries due to some sort of raspberry shortage. Pepper insists it's okay, that she is happy— _happy_ —to drink champagne and eat from the rest of the menu, but for fuck's sake, it was the only food item they specified against because of an allergy issue, and Phil is definitely going to follow up with them after because keeping Pepper Potts happy is good for keeping Tony Stark happy is good for team unity is good for keeping Clint in one piece. For right now, he's detailed Sam with making sure they remember not to put strawberries _in_ any champagne or any other such thing that he should be able to trust but evidently cannot.

10\. And Kate, who got online certification to perform the ceremony because Nat is the obvious person to stand up for Clint and he really wanted Kate involved as well, is hung up on her way back from an errand to get Skye in range of an off-the-record hub she's co-opting as an additional monitoring station since half their usual system is still shorted out. In traffic that's ridiculous even for Southern California, and which is probably also the result of the attack anyway. When they arrive back, forty minutes after the projected start time, they're both sweaty and frustrated, and Clint is climbing the walls out of combined worry and nerves. So is Phil, but he's less obvious about it. 

+1. “I now pronounce you husbands, and also adorable, and you can kiss.” Kate's beaming, signing it as she says it, but Clint's way ahead of her, and Phil can only hang on and smile. He's pretty sure the wolf-whistles come from Stark and Skye (he should never, ever have introduced them), but at this moment, he doesn't even care when fireworks ( _Stark_ , Clint mutters darkly beside him) go off incredibly undiscreetly in the rain overhead. All he cares about is getting this done and successfully attending his own reception and honeymoon; everything else is gravy.


End file.
